Lament for the Fallen
by Takato Metallium
Summary: In an alternate universe, Neku Sakuraba learns an invaluable lesson on trust, friendship and lies... DISCONTINUED.
1. Prologue

**Title:** Lament for the Fallen  
**Author:** Takato Metallium  
**Rating:** PG-13 for now~  
**Warnings:** will be a pairing eventually, swearing, violence, possible gore, horror, death, blood  
**Summary:** In an alternate universe, Neku Sakuraba learns an invaluable lesson on trust, friendship and lies...  
Author's Notes at the end of the first chapter

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Neku Sakuraba lowered his arm as his Partner vanished into static, that stuffed pig of hers falling lifeless to the ground near the Hachiko statue. Erased by his own hand. The pink-haired Reaper behind him was giggling, but he paid her no mind, feeling a wave of power running through his body as the Pact dimmed, died with the girl (he hadn't even bothered to learn her name, really). He knew he should be feeling panicked - Partners were how one survived the Reaper's Game after all - but all he was feeling was relief, bliss and ecstasy all in one. Who knew killing someone could bring about such feelings...?

"Hey!" As one, he and the Reaper girl turned to see a man approaching them, his face grimly set behind dark specs, hands in the pockets of his slacks. "You know that was a rule breaking, Yashiro."

"Oh, give me a break!" Yashiro said with a deep sigh, crossing her arms under her breasts as she eyed the older man. "The little twerp wasn't to know that I can't give missions because I'm not Game Master, which means I didn't break any rules, just bended the truth a little bit. After all..." she smirked at the red-head. "...he does get out of the Reaper's Game...through erasure of course!" The pink-haired Reaper giggled maliciously and vanished from the area.

"Damned bitch tricked me!" Neku's body was shaking with rage, his fists clenched at his sides. "Next time I see her, she's the one who'll be erased!"

"Whoa, calm down kiddo." The man closed the distance between them, looking down at the red-haired Player with studying hazel eyes. "After their Partner is erased, a Player has seven minutes left to live before they, too, are erased. You have less than five, and..."

A giggle seemed to come out of nowhere and the man sighed, Neku looking around before the air seemed to shimmer and a pale-haired boy about his age appeared next to the older man, his arms crossed languidly. "Oh come now, Sanae...you can't seriously think this one will want to pair up with her Pin after he so coldly killed her, hm?" The boy tapped a finger to his chin, smiling wickedly.

The man - apparently called Sanae - sighed again, running his hand through his short hair. "Boss...whatever you're planning on doing with this one, do it quickly. Time's a'wastin'."

"What the Hell are you freaks babbling abo..." Neku was cut off when the other teenager closed the distance between them, the smile on his lips curling further, his pale violet eyes half-lidded.

"Tell me, Neku Sakuraba...what do you desire in life? Money? Power? Fame?...Friends, perhaps?" the pale-haired teenager cooed, reaching out and trailing his fingers along Neku's jaw line, smile soft and alluring and Neku resisted the urge to lean into his touch, pulling away.

"None of those," he hissed, his eyes narrowing more at the other teen. "I desire nothing."

"Then..." A quirk of his lips as the man disappeared, leaving them to it. "...Become one of my Reapers. I could use someone cold like you in my ranks, Neku dear. Cold, heartless...mmm, yes~"

"iYour/i Reapers...?!" Neku pulled back a little, turning his head away to look at his hands that were slowly beginning to fade. He didn't have much time left. "...Fine." He lowered his hands and looked at the other teenager. "I accept. I'll become a Reaper."

He giggled, smirk hidden behind his hand as he leant forward, brushing his fingertips over Neku's lips before pressing his lips to the red-head's in a soft, sweet kiss. Neku made as though to push him away before he felt a jolt of power flowing through him, pulsating through his veins. His vision blurred and he stumbled back, falling into waiting arms.

Joshua Kiryuu smiled as the timer bled out on Neku's hand, licking the blood from his hand as he watched his unconscious form in his arms. "Welcome to the ranks, my dear sweet little Reaper," he cooed, disappearing with the red-head, the chatter of the people around the statue of Hachiko raising higher and higher, almost like Music...

- end prologue -

**Author's Notes:** Okay, so this idea came about when I began wondering what might have happened in an alternate universe. Playing around with the idea, I began picking out bits and pieces from the game.  
- The three weeks isn't happening, because Joshua hasn't decided that Shibuya needs to be erased and hasn't made the bet with Megumi, and thus also hasn't killed Neku to be his Proxy for said game.  
- Neku killed Shiki on their second day as Partners, rendering him useless as a Player - Joshua has offered to grant him the position of a Reaper, no interest in him yet (if ever)  
- Neku will be partnered up with another Reaper for training (my brain kept gravitating towards the idea of 777, though I'm also thinking Minamimoto now)  
- Neku's new appearance hasn't been decided on (since I'm going by the assumption that people change appearances when they become a Reaper), nor has the factor of his death since it wasn't Josh and his paintroller gun X3 Critique and suggestions are needed and appreciated for the first chapter to be written~ I hope everyone enjoyed *bows*


	2. Chapter I

**Title:** Lament for the Fallen  
**Author:** Takato Metallium  
**Rating:** PG-13 for now~  
**Warnings:** will be a pairing eventually, swearing, violence, possible gore, horror, death, blood  
**Summary:** In an alternate universe, Neku Sakuraba learned an invaluable lesson on trust, friendship and lies.

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"You are sure about this one, Sir?" Megumi Kitaniji would never normally oppose his Composer's word, his arms crossed languidly over his chest as he tapped his chin in thought. He eyed the red-haired boy on the couch behind dark sunglasses, then turned his attention to the Composer, who lounged on the couch with the boy's head in his lap. The Dead God's Pad had been sealed off from all other access aside from his own and the Composer's, so it was safe for Him to be in His RealGround form. He watched long, pale fingers stroke through red hair and licked his lips, speaking again. "I mean no disrespect, Composer Sir, but the boy was in the Reaper's Game for less than two days. Only a weak Soul would..."

"Take a look at him, Megumi," the Composer cooed, swirling his fingers along the boy's scalp, the world-shutting headphones resting on the pool table for now as he played with his new Reaper's hair. "Look at his Music, at his Soul."

Megumi frowned slightly, but nonetheless did as ordered, and nearly gasped at what he saw when he next looked at the boy. The Soul residing in the boy's body was bright, his Music a few tunes slightly off of being able to see the UnderGround as a living being. "C-Composer...amazing...but then why did...?"

Joshua giggled, hiding his smile behind his hand as his other slipped underneath Neku's head, stroking softly at the hair at the back, stiff with gel. "Our little newborn is, indeed, gifted. It seems as though he had a fondness for Sanae's art while he was alive, and the Imprinting Sanae uses in his murals seem to have taken effect on dear little Neku...it was a rather unfortunate incident that he killed his Partner, but such a wonderful assassin he'll make in due time. Megumi, I leave Yashiro's punishment up to you. Usually I would have Erased her...but she has been kind enough to send me a lovely little plaything."

"Understood, Sir." He raised an eyebrow as the boy gave a soft moan, showing signs of awakening. "Sir, are You not going to be showing him Your Composer form rather than Your RealGround form?"

"Mmm...no. Granted, he should have been killed the moment I let it slip that he would become one of my Reapers, but alas..." Joshua shrugged, smiling cunningly at his Conductor. "...I slipped up." The smile curled a little more, telling Megumi not to worry about it.

"Mmmn...where am I?" Cerulean blue eyes opened, the world blurring around him and Neku blinked, bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes like a child before a noble-like face came into view, framed by pale hair.

"Welcome back to the waking world, Neku Sakuraba~ " Joshua cooed, giggling when the red-head realized his head was resting in the other teen's lap and promptly sat up, scooting as far away on the couch from him as he could.

"Wh-what the Hell?! Were you trying to give me a heart attack?? For fuck's sake...!"

"You'll watch your tongue around the Composer, boy," Megumi said, nearly snapping his words.

Neku looked around - okay, he was quite sure that he had been at Hachiko...oh right. He looked away from the other two males as he remembered killing his Partner, noticing that her stuffed pig was laying on the couch, a speck of blood on its black faux fur. He closed his eyes before opening them again and looked at the other two. "Where am I?" he asked, voice casual, almost cool.

"Welcome to the Dead God's Pad," Joshua purred, licking his lips as he twirled a lock of hair around his finger, placing it back behind his ear. "How do you feel, Sakuraba-kun? I do hope that the transition from Player to Reaper wasn't TOO much of a...heart-stopping experience."

Neku felt a stinging in his hands and looked at it, noticing the carved numbers - on his left hand was 15:42 and on the right 17:20. "Wh...what the Hell...?"

"Your time of death." The Composer smiled and leant back languidly on his part of the couch, one leg dangling off as he waved Megumi to get them a drink. "On your left hand is the time of death in the UnderGround - the moment your signed your Soul over to being a Reaper. On your right hand is the time of death in the RealGround. A Reaper is to carry these burdens with them always."

"So..." The red-head didn't pay attention as Joshua waved a hand and the small coffee table near the couch moved closer as Kitaniji came back over with the requested drinks, setting them down and returning to his place near the Composer. "...So I'm a Reaper now?"

"Down to the very last detail...well, there are still a few things we need to discuss." Joshua took his drink from the table, sipping at the alcohol before his eyes slid back over to the new Reaper. "And I must return your entry fee to you as well, but that will be taken care of later. For now, sit up properly and have your drink."

Neku didn't reach for the other glass on the table, sitting cross-legged on the couch. His eyes looked around the room but they always wandered back to the stuffed pig laying between himself and the other boy. He reached out to touch it, brushing his fingers almost gently over the soft fur. "...What will happen to her...? My Partner...since, y'know, I Erased her?"

"Hmm? Why are you showing concern for her now, Sakuraba-kun?" Joshua twirled a lock of hair around his finger, studying the red-haired boy with half-lidded eyes. "I'm afraid she's gone. Noise food. Just another fleck of dust in the streets of Shibuya."

"I see..." He attempted to make the little stuffed pig dance, almost childlike in his behaviour as it flopped to the couch and he picked it up again, setting it in his lap. "I was desperate," Neku then murmured, keeping his eyes trained on the black ball of fluff. "I just wanted a way out of the Game...I was willing to do anything..."

"It's a little late now to show remorse, Sakuraba-kun," the pale-haired boy hummed, lower face hidden behind his glass.

"...What happens now?" Neku raised his head, looking at the other two before him. "I'm a Reaper...now what?"

"You'll be partnered with a more experienced Reaper," Joshua said, sipping his drink as he leant back languidly on the couch. "Trained, possibly promoted. At the moment, you're just a Supporting Reaper, but you could be promoted to Harrier or even Officer if I so choose, depending on how well you work yourself. Hmmm..." He looked over his shoulder to the taller man. "Megumi, bring up a list of the Reapers currently partnerless, will you?"

"Yes, Sir." Megumi waved his hand in the air and Neku blinked as a piece of paper suddenly appeared in his hand, which he gave to the pale-haired boy, who took it and smirked at Neku, his lower face hidden behind the paper while his violet eyes gleamed over the top. "If I may, Sir..." The boy's eyes turned upwards to the taller man, taking a sip of his alcoholic drink as Megumi spoke. "Sho Minamimoto is currently partnerless...perhaps assigning him one will keep him occupied enough to avoid...certain mishaps?"

"Mmm...you present a good argument, Megumi." He turned his attention back to the new Reaper in front of him, smiling. "How would you feel about working with a mathematical lunatic, Sakuraba-kun?"

Neku would have spat his drink had he been drinking it. A mathematical lunatic? "You're kidding, right?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he gave the other boy an incredulous look. "Isn't there anyone else?"

Joshua's eyes became half-lidded as he lowered the paper, looking at the redhead with a dark gaze. "I'd appreciate it if you would, Sakuraba-kun. The Reaper in question has been giving me a bit of trouble lately...and it would only be temporary."

Temporary...he could deal with temporary. The redhead ran a hand through his hair and sighed a little. "Yeah...yeah, I guess I can do that..." Temporary...like how that girl had been only temporary...

"Wonderful~" The pale-haired Composer made the list vanish, a broad smile on his lips as he lifted the glass and downed the rest of his drink, setting the glass on the table and then turning back to Neku with a smile. "Since that's over and done with now, I suppose I should give you your entry fee back, ne?"

Neku stared at the other boy for a moment, wondering what his entry fee had been before his head started to ache. He rubbed at it, feeling the pang before a gasp left his lips, doubling over on the couch clutching at his head. He looked up, meeting the smirking face of the Composer before he passed out again.

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_It was beautiful...so beautiful..._

_Neku stared up at the graffiti mural in front of him, awe stricken. CAT's work always found a way to cheer him up when he was feeling down. He reached out, touching the artwork, hand caressing the bodyless head of Brainy Cat ever so slightly._

_"Hey, punk."_

_The redhead, startled, jumped a little and turned to look at a gang of punks that were standing behind him. The leader - a tough-looking guy with spiked black hair and a few tattoos - cracked his knuckles, a grin on his lips that made Neku realize he wasn't going to get away from here without a few bruises._

_"This our territory. When're ya gonna give us payment for tresspassin', huh?"_

_Neku turned and pressed his back to the mural, trying to look cool as he put his hands in his pockets. "I don't have any money."_

_The leader grinned at that, like he'd been expecting it and slammed his fist into his palm. "Aight...I wuz lookin' forward to grinding yer face in th' pavement..."_

_The next however long was all a blur to Neku as he was punched and kicked, writhing in pain as the older teenagers around him laughed. Blood poured from a few places along his body, and he felt a few ribs were cracked, along with some other bones he couldn't name. At last, the beating stopped and a strangled sound came from his throat as the leader cackled and the sound of footsteps moved away from him, leaving him to die there, in front of CAT's mural..._

- tbc -


	3. Chapter II

**Title:** Lament for the Fallen  
**Author:** Takato Metallium  
**Rating:** PG-13 for now~  
**Warnings:** will be a pairing eventually, swearing, violence, possible gore, horror, death, blood  
**Summary:** In an alternate universe, Neku Sakuraba learned an invaluable lesson on trust, friendship and lies.

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Joshua watched the boy writhe on his couch with a small gleam in his eye, swirling the new drink around in his glass. He rested his head on his upturned palm, his elbow resting on the back of the couch. "Have all your memories returned, dear little Neku?" the pale-haired Composer purred, taking another sip of his drink. He watched the new Reaper breath heavily, watched the confusion dancing in those dark blue eyes. How amusing.

"That..." Neku swallowed and attempted to uncurl himself from his ball, his body shaking. The redhead's eyes held a glassed over look to them, the newborn Reaper hyperventilating as he gathered himself, making sense of everything. "...That was how I died...?"

"Welcome to the world, my dear Sakuraba-kun. It's not the nice little white house with a picket fence and rose bushes you've been lead to believe," Joshua purred, twirling his hair around his finger with a sigh as he leant his head on his other hand. He stretched himself out on the couch, simple white flats nearly touching Neku's legs. "People kill others without a second thought. You were no different."

"But...I was just standing there..." Neku shuddered as he remembered the look in the leader's face just before the gang had moved off onto their next victim, rubbing his arms a little. "Now what happens?" he asked, raising his head to look at the Composer with a haunted look on his face.

Joshua hummed along the rim of his glass, as though thinking the same thing, looking off to the side. He needed to have Sakuraba-kun watching Minamimoto right now, damnit...who knew what that mathematical ass had planned? He flickered his eyes back to Neku and smiled, once again twirling a lock of hair around his finger. "Now you need to establish your real self." He licked his lips and downed the last of his second drink before standing from the couch and turning with a swift twist of his heel. "Follow me."

Neku did as ordered, standing from the couch despite the small amount of shakes still raking his body. He took his headphones from the pool table and placed them around his neck, Mr. Mew in his arms as he followed the pale-haired boy. He looked out the corner of his eye at the older man - Megumi, he remembered the other teen calling him - who followed them, almost like a bodyguard.

Joshua lead him to what seemed to be a room of mirrors, like at a fun park almost but these mirrors didn't misshape your body or anything of the sort. Neku pressed his hand a little against one of them. "Don't touch them." He jerked his hand back and looked at the pale-haired teen, who had taken a seat in a throne-like chair, Megumi standing next to it. Joshua crossed one leg over his other, leaning back in the chair and looking much like a royal king when he did so. "This is the Chamber of Mirrors. This is where your real self will come forward."

"My real self...?" Neku didn't have time to speak and jumped as the reflections in the mirrors rearranged themselves, moving to one mirror only and merging together. In the mirror stood a taller version of himself, looking around about seventeen years of age, dark cerulean eyes penetrating him with their gaze from behind smoky orange locks of hair.

The Neku in the mirror wore a white and blue sleeveless trench coat with about ten buckles scattered about it as decoration, a high-necked black vest and a pair of sleek black leather pants that slid down his legs like they were painted on, ending in ankle length boots. Reaper wings spread out behind him, the entire look giving off a deadly vibe.

Stumbling back from the mirror in shock, Neku tightened his grip on Mr Mew, looking around himself at the other mirrors. They each seemed to represent him in some way or form, each smiled enticingly, beckoning him into themselves.

There was a child-like version of him, all sweet and innocent...and Neku would have believed that if it hadn't been for the axe he hid behind his body and the blood soaking his clothes. The child giggled, turning wide eyes up at Neku as a body, mutilated but Neku was still able to recognize who it was - his father.

Backing away from the child-like self, Neku bumped against another mirror, and although they didn't appear, he could almost feel the ethereal arms wrap around his shoulders, a seductive husky purr in his ear. "Choose me, big boy...we could have iso/i much fun." His face went bright red when he turned around, getting an eyeful of himself wearing nothing but a thin black leather thong and thigh-high leather platform boots.

"Bah. You don't want him. He'll only get you into trouble." Seduction pouted as his real self looked in the other mirror next to him, looking as old as the first and his arms crossed over his chest. There was a different feeling around this one, his eyes holding a darkness behind them, something that screamed to Neku that this one was pure evil. The one in the mirror smirked darkly, holding out a beckoning hand.

"What...what the Hell is all this?" Neku demanded, turning at last to face Joshua at last, the red colour on his cheeks fading slightly. "It's..."

"As I said, this is the Chamber of Mirrors," the Composer purred, enjoying the boy's torment. He leant his head on his hand, watching Neku look around him at the mirrors. "Each of these mirrors contains an individual aspect of your personality. Seduction, innocence, evil, apathy...anything you can think of is surrounding you. You can only pick one to be your Reaper self."

"Did...did you have to pick?" Neku asked, looking at the pale-haired youth with wondering eyes.

Joshua merely smiled, steeping his fingers as he rested his elbows on the armrests of the throne. "Come now, we don't have all day. Pick one, and we shall get on with your training."

Neku hesitated, a little miffed at having his question be dismissed like that but decided that he did need to get on with choosing. He looked around himself at the mirrors, looking at each of the personalities beckoning him.

Seduction winked and purred like a cat, dancing around his mirror like a stripper in a cage at some erotic bar.

"Will you play with me?" Child asked, all innocence and smiles even as the axe dangled from his fingertips behind him and the blood pooled around his feet. "Nobody's played with me since daddy left..."

They each had something to say, and Neku raised a hand to his forehead, massaging his temples...it was so confusing, all of his consciousness scrambling for attention like this. He clutched at his head as the voices got louder, dropping Mr Mew to the ground and letting the plush toy lay there like the rag doll it was. He sank to his knees, and after a good long while he finally screamed "SHUT UP!" The chattering stopped and they each looked at him expectantly as he screamed. "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PICK ONE OF YOU IF YOU ALL KEEP TALKING?!"

Crickets chirped through the room, at least they would have if they had been outside but Child supplied the noises. The real Neku finally shuddered and stood again, looking helplessly over his shoulder at Joshua. "Help me," he pleaded, playing idly with the headphones around his neck.

"I'm afraid I can't choose for you, Sakuraba-kun," he said, pursing his lips together. Joshua made no move to get up from his seat on the cold stone throne, twirling a lock of hair around his finger as he watched the tormented teenager. "It's simple, but so very hard, is it not? One of these will be your personality for the rest of your natural existence as a Reaper. I recommend that you choose wisely, as your time is running out."

That made Neku panic. Two days in the Game had made him weary of time limits and the redhead turned around, his eyes wide at Joshua's words. Reaching forward - it seemed that the only way to absorb the singular personality was to touch the mirrors - he very nearly lunged for the mirror that held the one personality he wanted, the only one that seemed close to himself and that could make it hurt less.

He chose Apathy.

The personalities around him flashed and disappeared, the mirrors apart from Apathy's becoming uninhabited and disappearing, showing a room with glowing red walls, throbbing with what seemed to be Shibuya's...Soul? Music? Neku didn't know what to call it.

"Me, huh? I'm nothing special," Apathy said in a dead-sounding voice, before he shrugged, and Neku wondered how a reflection could shrug without being puppeted by the body. He became startled when Apathy walked forward, disappearing into the palm of his hand...and that was when the pain started. A cry tore itself from the teenager's throat and he backed off, doubling over and crouching, clutching his head.

"Sir, are you sure it was wise to show the boy the Hall of Mirrors?" Megumi asked, voice low and soft as he watched Neku moan and writhe in pain.

Joshua giggled, looking at his Conductor out the corner of his eye, amusement dancing in his gaze. "Why not, Megumi? I haven't had this much fun in...oh...ages." He giggled again, huskily, and went back to watching the redhead transform.

Pain tore through Neku's body, the cracking of bones as they grew and straightened themselves with his body was too loud. He whimpered as his clothing tore, making way for new threads, and then...peace.

Until the Reaper wings ripped from his back.

The mirrors shattered at the pitch of his scream, his body mutating to accompany the new wings. Blood dripped from the tips of them as they spread, covering him like a mother shielding her child from the world. Joshua sighed, crossing one leg over the other as he watched the cowering Reaper shield himself from the shower of blood, the drops disappearing as they hit the floor. He didn't want to clean up the boy's mess after all. "Are you quite done?"

Deep blue sapphires snapped up to glare at him, the wings arching out beyond the boy's body as he stood before they disappeared. Neku kept his head bowed. He felt...odd. Like...almost like something was telling him, whispering to him that this was the Composer.

"My poor, dear Sakuraba-kun," the pale-haired Composer cooed, reaching up and running long, pale pianist fingers down the boy's jaw line. He smirked.

"Welcome to the UnderGround."

- end of chapter two -


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